Speeding Through Life

A few weeks ago, I got a speeding ticket.

I was on my way into town, already on a tight timeline for an appointment, thinking about work and everything else I needed to accomplish that day. The road was straight, open, and empty. I was caught up in the to-do list in my head, mapping out the rest of the day, and simply stopped paying attention to driving and kept pressing on the gas. 

When I finally came back from planning my day, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the dreaded flashing lights.

Sigh.

I knew I was speeding. Seventy in a forty-five, to be exact. I knew I wasn't likely to get off with just a warning... and I didn't. So much for trying to get to my appointment on time.

When I finally got home, I told my husband, Jeremiah, about my day. Then the swirling started. "How much will I end up having to pay for the ticket? How much will the insurance go up?" With an already tight budget, this was not a happy moment.

But in the midst of my swirl, Jeremiah simply said, "Take a breath. Pay attention. I think there's a message here."

So I stopped mid-swirl, took that deep breath, and you know what? I actually saw it.

I had been getting myself caught up in this frazzled state, constantly feeling like I never had enough time and always had too much to do.

The week before, I just needed to quickly trim some matted hair around my dog's ears. Just real quick. I had done this many times before. I just needed to get this done and then I could get back to everything else I needed to do that day. 

My mind wasn't on what I was doing. Then I saw blood. I had clipped her ear.

Thankfully she didn't seem bothered by it, but ears are full of tiny little blood vessels. They have a remarkable ability to bleed. Suddenly all the things I thought I was going to get done disappeared while I cleaned her ear, stopped the bleeding, and spent the next hour trying to calm myself down and stop beating myself up.

Then I thought back about two weeks before that. I was making dinner. Or at least I was physically making dinner. Mentally, I was calculating what I could accomplish during the twenty minutes dinner would be simmering on the stove. Just as soon as I get these vegetables into the stockpot...

While slicing onions, the knife slipped. My very sharp kitchen knife made a beautifully clean cut deep into my finger. So much for those twenty minutes.

Three different situations, but they all had one thing in common. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing because I was already mentally living in the next task.

I used to think my ability to multitask was a bit of a superpower. It had become part of my identity. But now, I'm seeing what it has been costing me. That's a bit ironic because for the past few years I've also been trying to find ways to "be more calm." It was in that moment of introspection that I realized something.

I hadn't just been speeding on the road that day. I had made a habit of speeding through life.

Creating Space

To me, this realization meant retraining my habit of filling every nook and cranny of the day with another task. It meant creating space instead.

In thinking about ways I could slow down, what surprised me was how uncomfortable some of those ideas felt. I wasn't used to slowing down. I thought it would feel peaceful, but when you've trained your nervous system to stay in motion all the time, the thought of slowing down can feel surprisingly uneasy.

Like any habit, slowing down takes practice. Our nervous system doesn't instantly change because we've decided we'd like it to.

Since I spend much of my time studying and working with herbs, it was only natural that I started thinking about how they might fit into this process. Herbs can gently support us and make it easier to find the off-ramp, but they can't take the exit for us. We still have to choose to slow down.

Some of the ways I've been practicing slowing down have been surprisingly simple. Sometimes that means taking a few deep breaths before I start driving. Sometimes it's turning off the podcast while I wash the dishes. Sometimes that means sitting in my garden for twenty minutes without reaching for my phone. Sometimes it's simply seeing what it feels like to be fully present with whatever I'm already doing. Sometimes it means letting dinner simply cook while I do... nothing.

It means dimming the lights and turning off electronics at least an hour before bed. It's reminding myself that sleep doesn't get in the way of being productive. Getting enough sleep is actually one of the reasons we're productive at all.

None of these practices are complicated, but some can be surprisingly difficult to start. That's exactly why they're worth practicing.

Steady Support Blend

Another practice that has become part of my routine is a simple daily tea blend.

This tea is a gentle blend that can be enjoyed regularly to nourish and support the nervous system over time. It's not going to instantly make you relax, but it can support you as you choose to slow down.

• 2 parts linden (Tilia spp.)

• 1 part lemon balm (Melissa officinalis)

• 1 part chamomile (Matricaria recutita)

• ½ part lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) - optional*

*If floral lavender isn't your favorite, simply leave it out, substitute more linden, or try a little tulsi or rosehips instead.

Use ½ ounce of the blend per pint of water, or 1 ounce per quart. Pour just-boiled water over the herbs, cover, and steep for 20-30 minutes before straining.

For a stronger, more nourishing infusion, allow it to steep covered for several hours or overnight. Strain and enjoy throughout the day.

Just as important, the simple ritual of preparing a cup of tea can become another reminder to pause, take a breath, and be present.